Where did a year go?

It seems hard to believe that I have not written in a year.  It saddens me to know that I had been employed, for over a year, at a culinary job that has made me hate food and cooking.  It is true. The one thing that brings me more peace and happiness in my life was stolen from me at the hands of poor taste.  I should never have let it happen but paychecks are so enticing even when you lose sight of what is really important.  Safe to say that I have ceased the former job and am on my way to retrieving my culinary spirit.

For the past 10 + years I made it a point to live my life in a holistic way.  In cooking, healing and conversations I found myself outlets to cultivate my craft.  I never thought that I would lose sight of that.  But I did.  In today's society we are constantly at a gallop.  Do we ever stop think about what our true path is?  Making money seems to be the main goal these days but what is it bringing us?  How many of us are truly happy?  Where are the days of sitting around a table every night and sharing our simple moments over good, hearty home made food?  How many people actually sit down for dinner with their families anymore?

Dinner used to be the best time with my husband.   We would sit, talk and dine on whatever goodness I had created.  Over the past year that practice fell by the wayside.  Cooking during the day in a soulless kitchen rendered me completely unable to conjure anything in my own kitchen.  It was disheartening and made me question if I even knew how to cook anymore.  When you forget how to do the one thing that was always your  intuition, what do you do?  You quit your job!  I always heard of people doing this but never thought I would have to do it myself.  Now here I am.  Starting from scratch, almost.  I am piecing back together my passion and acknowledging the fact that it is OK to figure things out even after so long of thinking I knew.   My new job is ME.  Finding the heart of my craft and expanding exponentially.  Come with me on this journey, if you like, and see the healing magic that food can provide.

That said, I am ready to cook again.  In the four days of being unemployed I have been cooking up a storm.  I have made all the things that have been requested of me over the past year but never got around to.  From homemade marinated mushrooms and local cucumber pickles, a new take on an old Tettrazzini recipe, Caprese salad with fresh basil from my garden and local tomatoes and last nights perfectly grilled local veggies.

My workbench

I feel renewal beginning.   I forgot how good it is to have my OWN knife in my hand.  I miss the way it hits the butcher block board as it slices through a tomato.  How an onion sliding off the blade into  sizzling butter seems the most incredible smell on earth.  How did I go so long being so detached?  This is my medicine, my way of making bad go to good. The sounds and smells of good ingredients turning into magic was lost but now found.

I have a new camera and a new desire to cook.  Keep in touch readers, if you are out there.  I hope you can keep me company while I rediscover whole foods.

Thank you.